Imogen (© Matthew Forte)
Page 2 On her way to the restroom, a group of male students grabbed her and held her captive in a janitor's closet. They teased her, fondled her and raped her. The punks taped the savage ordeal and took
photos. They told Imogen that if she reported them to the authorities
they would post nude photos of her on the web and brand her as a
whore. They also threaten to slowly torture and murder her father. Imogen said nothing about the
rape. It wasn't their threats that kept her quiet it was the reality of what her father would do to them if he found out. She knew his volatile temper. He would castrate and eviscerate them and would gladly go to prison for it. Several weeks had passed since the gang rape. Not telling anyone about what
happened is killing her soul. She can't eat or sleep. Her
waking moments are spent reliving the horror of her attack. To pour salt on a
gaping wound, her rapists pass by her everyday in school acting as if nothing
happened, having the time of their lives. It's all just too much to
take. So she decided on her birthday to end it all. She
would've killed herself on that day but she wanted to have one more special day
with her father. They went out to Six Flags and later at her
favorite restaurant. Her father gave her a top of the line
Canon SLR along with an extra lens for her birthday. He had spent months saving
up for it. Imogen tears up writing the last words of her suicide note:" I am so sorry
Daddy. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough. I' m sorry
that I can't take the pain anymore. I wish I could've been the
daughter you always wanted. I wish I could've made you
proud. See you in Heaven. Good-bye" Imogen places the note on her bed next to her stuff animals. She
holds an 8x10 photo of her and her father taken four and half years ago at
Coney Island. The photo was taken by her mother who tragically
passed away the following year. She had never been happier than in
this wonderful moment frozen in time. The picture and the memories
attached to it level her. She desperately wishes she could tell her father farewell face to
face. She prays he'll forgive her. Imogen takes a deep,
deep breath and readies herself for what she feels she must do. Imogen pulls out a heavy duty extension cord and ties it into a
noose. She gives the noose a hard tug to test its strength - it
passes. Imogen secures the noose to something sturdy up above and
then brings a small ladder right below it. The gallows is
complete. Death by hanging is definitely not Imogen's preferred way of
dying. She researched the effects of what happens to a
body after hanging, it scares her. Hanging can be a long and
excruciating demise if things go wrong. She prays for a quick
death. Imogen turns on her sound dock and plays her favorite song – U2's"
Sometimes You Can't Make On Your Own." Her eyes well up
with tears as she slowly makes her way to the gallows. Imogen's heart begins beating very rapidly. The pounding is so
overwhelming she can hardly think. Crashing waves of despair slam
into her each wave more crushing than the last. She tells
herself this will be all over in just a few moments. Eternal peace
is soon at hand. She wonders if she will meet her mother in heaven. Imogen takes her first hesitant step up the short ladder. A
blistering chill races down her spine when she stares up at the
noose. She breathes deep and continues to take hesitant steps
to the top. The noose and Imogen are eye to eye. The weight of hopelessness in
her stomach has gotten heavier by a million fold. Despite a growing
cluster of doubts gnawing at her, Imogen proceeds to
wrap the noose around her neck. Suddenly, Imogen's breathing
becomes labored. Tears start to fall. Her hard breathing
quickly gives way to hyperventilation. A flood of wonderful memories with her mom and dad rushes her
head. Flashes of hope go through her heart. Guilty
thoughts of abandoning her father eat at her soul. Flashbacks
of the rape claw at her, as does the mocking and taunts of her tormentors. This
tsunami of memories and emotions are unbearable. Imogen violently shakes her sobbing head and wails. Then the pain stops. She
took the plunge. The once loose noose instantly tightens around her throat. Her
arms and legs flail helplessly. The oxygen to her brain thins out. Urine and fecal matter are expelled. The color
quickly fades from her contorted face. The extension cord mercilessly digs into her flesh. She had hope death would be quick
but he's not letting her off that easy. Imogen's struggling body continues to suffer under the unforgiving grip of the noose. She
suffers and suffers until her body can suffer no more. Imogen is dead. [ Continue to page 3 ] |