My Lost Love Full of Grace
(© Matthew Forte)
I went outside earlier today to procure some badly needed supplies. When I went
out into the open, it wasn't just the living dead that haunted me. A ghost from
the past appeared out of nowhere to spook me. Grace was the
ghost's name. Grace was my ex-girlfriend. I considered her for a long time to
be the most beautiful creature that God ever created. Grace was truly something
special inside and out.
I spent some of the best years of my life with her. Unfortunately,
my wonderful thing came to a crashing end. After four mostly
blissful years, Grace and I broke up over a family issue. She wanted
to have a family. I didn't. Although I adore children, back then, I
believed that the world was too fucked up and cruel to bring children into it.
I still believe that now, (even if the dead had never
reanimated). However, Grace felt quite differently.
She wholeheartedly believe more than anything she was put on Earth to be a mother. She wanted me to be the father of her children. I wish I could've given her the only thing she ever truly wished for. But I just couldn't. I stubbornly wouldn't back down from my
conviction. Not even in the name of love. I so deeply
regret my choice now. Even though a child is not what I wanted, it
was a gift that Grace wanted. And I should've bestowed her with that
gift. Not because it would've kept us together but simply because
she asked me too.
The last time I saw Grace before today was about two years ago. We
had accidentally bumped into each other at some big named electronics store in
Midtown. The meeting was painfully awkward to say the
least. She of course, looked incredibly stunning - better than a
Words fail to describe how she appeared this day. My eyes instantly
welled up with tears when I saw her. What I saw was not my Grace! It
was grotesquely rail thin and discolored sad shell of something rotten which
used to be a woman but clearly was not anymore. In her
deteriorated condition, I was surprised I was able to recognize
her. My Grace had fallen from grace. She returned as one
of them, who are actually one of us.
Watching her looking so empty and tragically lost was more than my broken soul could bear. So I pulled out my double sawed-off , preparing to
release Grace from her misery, when suddenly a last-minute observation made my
blood go cold.
Grace's belly was very swollen. The swelling was not from death's
bloat or excess weight. It was from a baby. Someone had
finally helped given Grace the gift she prayed for. The realization
of that someone not being me cleaved my heart in two. My grief
became more profound when I noticed a huge gaping cavity in Grace's
belly. The infant was missing. It seemed the cavity was
bored from inside her. My mind shuddered thinking about what led to
that happening. God, I hope Grace didn't suffer long. And
I pray her child is not suffering.
After I put Grace to rest, I buried her, along with my foolish hopes and dreams of us ever reuniting and my wish for her much deserved happiness.
It hurts so much. All that could've been.
- THE END -
Other contributions by this author:-
1. Imogen (12-Apr-2012)
| ||A bullied teenaged girl who believes suicide will bring her peace, discovers death may not be so peaceful.|