Zombie Diaries (© Tony Sandy)
Page 3 Do we live forever? No. We cannot regenerate decaying
matter, so eventually fall by the wayside - our losses more than made up for by
the living, when death takes them by the hand. What I fate I often think. To
die, thinking you're heading for paradise and instead to wake up back here
again, still alive but in a more meagre way. We who are about to die, salute
you! (or we will do when we rise again). I can still remember my first kill. That mouthful of
warm flesh was so good. I was on the outskirts of the pack - a know nothing
newbie, given the chance to join in. As I said, we cannot taste but we can
sense warmth. I bit into that still screaming, still living human being. We
tore her to pieces, until blood loss knocked her unconscious. A part of me
wanted to scream 'No!' Another part of me wanted to vomit - revolted and
ashamed at what I'd done but the hunger was too strong. It's an addiction all
living things have and we are no different. We eat to survive. One of the crowd looked at me afterwards as much as to
say you did alright kid, you're now fully bloodied. I grunted in
acknowledgement and turned away satisfied. In an earlier incarnation this
would have come across as a smile, a raised glass or even a pat on the back.
We sat down afterwards. like everyone does after a good meal. Being zombies
though, we could not afford to settle for long because like the Tin Man in The
Wizard of Oz, you froze as rigor mortis set in. Joints cracked as we rose and
some whose time had come, never rose again (We didn't even give them a
backwards glance as they sat and rotted in the clearing, their eyes being the
only sign of life: For those of us who came back to life, there was the
rising. For those returning to dust, there is only the settling or the
crumbling). It might be more accurate to say that inner life is all I
have rather than that I have none. No intelligible sounds come out of my mouth
and my interaction with the outside world is minimal. I grunt and groan at the
others but that is as far as it goes. I'm introverted because I don't have the
energy (or body parts) to extrovert; no deep philosophical discussions or even
idle chit-chat. 'Morning Mrs Wicks, how's your lumbago?' 'Hi Fred, where's Marge this morning?' I would kill, even to say something as trite as this,
where once I'd turn my nose up at such a waste of time and effort (Nowadays I
see the world through a glass, darkly). I have no future and a quickly disappearing past. The
present is dull as ditch water and smells as stagnant. I am nothing in a sea
of nothingness. It's a man's life in the army - well it's a nothing life as a
zombie. The same boring nothingness, day after day, interrupted only by the
occasional meal. We're like reptiles, eating now and again but resting the
rest of the time. Have I said that before? Then the degeneration is complete
and my mind is now going, rotting faster than my body. The circular life of
the bored and boring is becoming my own. I will repeat every day as if it were
every other day and my last bastion of hope, my memory, my awareness, will fade
into the twilight world I inhabit; neither alive nor dead, asleep nor awake;
conscious nor unconscious. A thing barely alive but annoyingly so to those who
are still in charge of their faculties, still really alive: Those that can
smell Spring's flowers, taste the air, eat snow flakes, touch and be touched by
love; drink in every day as if it were your last and in our case wish it
were...
- THE END - Other contributions by this author:- 1. Romero's Children (28-Apr-2013)
| This story is narrated by the survivor of an ancient race, who in turn helps the survivors of the human race when Earth is over run by zombies. | 2. Almost Human (28-Apr-2013)
| This story is about integration and the lengths some 'aliens' will go to, to fit into their new host planet. | 3. Culture Shock (28-Apr-2013)
| The story follows a zombie, saved by science and the dedication of a good doctor, plus the results of neglecting such a relationship. | 4. The Man Who Wanted To Die But Couldn't (7-Jun-2013)
| Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you despair at life because we can't all die as and when we would like to. | 5. Butchers (7-Jun-2013)
| Are the hunger for something real to eat, when you've been on artificial rations for years. | 6. A Glitch in the Matrix (27-Dec-2013)
| You have an ideal life, then minor, niggling things happen which you ignore until they get more than a little out of hand... |
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