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Some people back at the office referred to the giant septic tank draining trucks as 'honey wagons' but he never did. It seemed pointlessly stupid. Draining septic tanks wasn't his first career choice but it was a job. A job he didn't really mind doing, usually, and yet as he walked back to check on the jackrabbit he wondered how his life ever came to this point.

Standing in the middle of nowhere on a deserted road listening to the septic tank contents sloshing around from the sudden unexpected stop, Josey sighed. He didn't bother holding his breath as he continued back to the rear of the truck. Of course, he rarely noticed the aroma anyway. His sense of smell was so bad he usually had to tell by other people’s expressions when he needed a shower. It was just another perk of having driven a septic tank truck for the last three years.

In the pale predawn, Josey saw the lump of fur just a few yards behind the truck. He swallowed hard and walked slowly closer. His hands shook as a part of his mind feared that the animal might leap up and bite him, giving him some nasty disease (maybe even rabies). He gripped the cold crowbar tightly but was ready to run back to the cab of his truck should it attack.

In the dim red glow of the taillights and the pale predawn it was hard for him to see the body very well.

He reached out to poke the furry lump with the crowbar before remembering the small flashlight in his coveralls pocket. Backing up a step, he pulled it out and clicked it on.

The white light shined on the cold black dusty asphalt. It illuminated a small shockingly bright red stream of blood flowing from the furry lump.

But was it still alive? He wondered, following the trail of blood with the beam of light until it showed a mass of pink intestines and fur.

He felt his stomach bucking as his breakfast shot out his mouth. His whole body shuddered and shook as he vomited uncontrollably for several agonizing seconds. He turned off the flashlight while continuing to lose his breakfast. Some things, like vomiting, are best done in darkness. At least it's not as bad as throwing up drunk, he thought.

Before adopting his current profession, Josey briefly attended a university and knew all too well the unpleasantness associated with throwing up while drunk. A Toga party hosted by the football boosters was both the first and last time he'd ever gotten seriously drunk. He'd spent the afternoon at practice and by the time the coach let the team go the party was already in full swing. Most of the guys went straight to the festivities, but the smart ones ate something before they began drinking.

Josey had not been one of the smart ones.

As a result of being raised in a strict Southern Baptist family, he'd been denied an education in alcohol that most of his Methodist friends were privy to. When he was a teenager, a big time with alcohol was limited to occasionally drinking a mixture of cough syrup and ginger ale.

His friends called the vile tasting concoction a Dr. Shirley Temple.

It was a nasty excuse for a cocktail, but on the plus side he never minded being home sick with a cold when he was a kid.

At the toga party he wore a large, mostly white, bed sheet with a few stains (the origins of which were best not considered.) Josey made up for a wasted nonalcoholic childhood and tried a little bit of everything. The football boosters had set up tables with nearly every kind of liquor he could imagine and not a single cough syrup bottle was in sight. It was paradise.

A large mug of white wine was followed by a few shots of tequila, vodka, scotch, and gin, plus several plastic cups of beer from a keg were the last things he vaguely recalled about that night.

It wasn’t until several hours later that he realized drinking vast quantities of different types of alcohol on an empty stomach was not a particularly good idea. The next day, his friend Al showed him a video of his exploits from the night before that he'd uploaded to the Internet. Josey didn't remember standing on a table shouting that he was Zeus, but the video didn't lie. The vivid color quality was quite impressive as it showed him projectile vomiting on various football booster businessmen (most of whom were wearing very expensive looking suits) that had also attended the toga party.

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