Toy Story Of The Dead
(© Dorian Stanley)
"Rex!" cried Woody, starting the meeting
with the usual pomp and circumstance that he required.
"Here!" shouted the neurotic plastic
dinosaur waiving his diminutive hand.
"Hamm!" Woody said.
"Yo!" shouted the hard-to-miss, pink pig.
"As if you could miss him..." snickered his
friend, and recent transfer to Molly’s small toy collection, Mr. Potato Head.
"Come on people, let’s focus on the
meeting!" yelled Woody over the ensuing laughter.
"Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head..." he called.
Both replied "Here" at the same time.
"Slink..." was the next name called. He
followed with each toy on the list down to newest arrivals which most of the
older toys tried their best to avoid.
Bronzebeard..." he called with only the slightest hint of distaste in his
"Aye, ya twiggy lil’ git!" cried the 7"
action figure in a syrupy, Scottish accent.
Lash..." was the next name called on the list. At this name, most of the
male toys shuffled uncomfortably.
"Right here, sugar..." came the sultry voice
that dripped with seductive innuendo. Everyone jumped when a loud slap echoed
through the room and she slowly moved her hand from her shapely posterior.
Another moment of uncomfortable silence
passed before Woody looked back to his clipboard and called the final name.
V... Has anyone seen V?" Woody called with growing irritation because roll
call was taking so long.
Everyone looked around for the elusive
From the doorway to Andy’s room came the
response: "Verily! This villainous vaudevillian verifies with vivacity the
vector of his viscera." V responded as he swaggered into the group as his
black cape swirled behind him. He bowed to Woody while holding the brim of his
hat in a courteous manner.
Bo Peep swooned slightly while Jessie
admired the 12" tall figure like a wolf sizes up a deer. Even the very adult
oriented figure, Amber Lash, blushed slightly at the newest figure to their
"O... K..." stated Woody who thought that the
bravado was highly unnecessary and over done. "Now that we are all here, we
Sergeant Green sat in the loose dirt of the
flower pot located in the foyer which gave a clear view of both the entrance to
the house and the dining room located immediately off of the right side of the
room. His spotters were stationed in strategic locations throughout the two
rooms awaiting the arrival of the guests for Andy’s party as well as keeping
track of Andy, Sid, Molly, and Hannah. Knowing that the four children were
playing in the back yard gave the other toys some room to breathe. As the
consummate professional that he was, Sarge was happy to be the first line of
protection for the other toys. He and his men would serve proudly in whatever
capacity that they could.
Using his binoculars, Sarge peered around
his field of view to ensure that nothing was amiss. He pressed the transmit
switch on the walkie-talkie taken from Andy’s room and logged his report. The
brief ‘beep’ made when he did caused Sarge to pause briefly. He wished that he
could get his hands on ‘real’ equipment instead of the ‘civilian’ variety but
knew that he would make do with what he was given.
"Eagle Eye to Command.... Eagle Eye to
Command...." he stated in true military fashion. "Reporting in, sir!"
A hush fell over the room as Woody returned
the call by responding, "Ummm... This is Command. Go ahead."
"Sir, we are at T-minus one hour and
counting for operation Let’s Party. No early guests have arrived as expected.
Eagle one is still located at the foot of the stairs. Tensions are high but
everyone is operating at peak levels and signal is 5 x 5 to all spotters."
Woody rolled his eyes at the response
strewn liberally with jargon seen on every war movie made since 1950.
[ Continue to page 3 ]