Share It:

The Shortest Living Dead Story Ever
(© Biswapriya Purkayastha)

Did you lock the door?" I asked my teenager. "Lock it, or the zombies will come and eat you."

"Give me a break, mum," he said, looking down at his video game. "Iíll get around to it."

"Did you lock the door like I told you?" I repeated half an hour later, passing through the room. "Lock it or the zombies will come in and eat you, hide and hair, down to the bone."

"I said Iíd do it, didnít I?" he whined, playing away. "Canít I have a moment of peace around here?"

I went away to finish the chores. After some time, I returned. "Did you lock the door?" I demanded. "Iím not going to ask you again."

"Why does it have to be I who has to do everything around here?" he moaned. "Iíll do it in my good time, I said."

"You wonít," I said. "And when the zombies will break in and eat you, see if I care."

"Big deal," he said, and went back to his game. "Iíve better things to do."

So I went upstairs to my room and shut the door, and sure enough after some time the zombies came in downstairs and ate him, hide and hair, down to the bone, just as I'd said they would.

And then they sat down and played his video game all night. Theyíre the same, zombies and teenagers.

No brains at all, either of them.


Other contributions by this author:-
1. Moonlight On The City (27-Aug-2009)
Bill, a survivor in a city where virus-infected zombies walk the streets, receives a radio message from another survivor, Andrea, and sets out to rescue her. Will they get away with it? Or will the zombies win?
2. Graah (1-Oct-2009)
A zombie-eye point of view of what happens when a zombie gets information of where humans are hiding out.
3. Protectress (1-Oct-2009)
How far is it possible to go to save a species from extinction?
4. What Did You Do To Deserve This? (1-Oct-2009)
Revenge can take many forms.
5. Windfall (1-Oct-2009)
Guerrillas on the run encounter evil in the wreck of an old bomber.
6. The Most Rediculous Horror Story Ever (24-Dec-2009)
Puffy the Vampire Slayer meets an unexpected and lethal enemy. Can she survive?
7. Contagion (5-Mar-2010)
A scientist, a lab, a captive 'zombie', and ghosts from the past.
8. On The Other Side (5-Mar-2010)
An old mirror opens a portal to an alternate world of danger.
9. The Darkling Plain (5-Mar-2010)
A scientist finds a way to a parallel world of demons.
10. Baying At The Moon (11-Jun-2010)
A full moon night, a boy, a monster...and a lynch mob on the loose.
11. (Not) Just Another Zombie Story (11-Jun-2010)
A nurse tries to make her way, alone and unarmed, out of a city overrun by zombies.
12. The Annexe (21-Jul-2010)
A letter found in a house whose previous occupant disappeared introduces a mystery.
13. Blood Lust (21-Jul-2010)
A shaman has a strange and terrible visitor...with a strange and terrible request.
14. You've Watched Too many Zombie Movies (21-Jul-2010)
A man confronts a different kind of zombie across an office desk.
15. Dead Camp (3-Sep-2010)
A zombie experiences life in boot camp.
16. The Battle Of Kaesong (3-Sep-2010)
A detailed analysis of the only battle in history in which one side used zombies as a weapon.
17. Dark Of The Moon (3-Sep-2010)
When the moon calls, fighting the monster within is futile, and can be yourself.
18. Ill Met By Moonlight (11-Oct-2010)
Some monsters are much, much worse than others who stalk the night and merely want to kill you.This is part 3 of the series of stories which began with Baying At The Moon and continued with Dark Of The Moon.
19. The Experiment (11-Oct-2010)
An experiment in a Nazi concentration camp to revive dead soldiers goes very, very wrong for everyone involved.
20. Coffins (11-Oct-2010)
How do you cope with the loneliness of being a virtual immortal journeying between the stars?
21. Night Of The Full Moon (31-Oct-2010)
Evil walks the full moon night near an abandoned coal mine.
22. Out Amongst Them (31-Oct-2010)
In the not too distant future, an armed tourist party visits the wrecked city across the Wall, where danger dwells.
23. Hunter's Moon (31-Oct-2010)
The Woman and the Boy face danger from a different source, one which may be the most lethal of all.
24. A Country For Old Men (31-Oct-2010)
What way do you choose to go when it becomes possible to cheat death, not just once, but over and over again?
25. Ice Station Beta (5-Dec-2010)
A man is alone in a station on the ice sheets, besieged by unknown monsters.
26. The Most Frightening Thing In The World (15-Dec-2010)
Given the right circumstances, love can be the most frightening thing of all.
27. The Beast (10-Jan-2011)
They'd killed the Beast, but what was it that made the girl lie awake at night?
28. Fun And Games (10-Jan-2011)
Why are children the best soldiers one can imagine? This is Part Two of the Bisaria Quartet, and follows 'The Most Frightening Thing In The World.'
29. The Empire's Last Battle (10-Jan-2011)
Visiting the wreck of the Empire's last battleship may be a dream come true...or a nightmare.
30. Probably The Last Zombie Story I Shall Write (13-Feb-2011)
The search for food leads her into terrible danger.
31. Malaka (13-Feb-2011)
A girl wanders alone through a land ravaged by civil war.
32. Those Blasted Lands (27-Apr-2011)
Opening an email from an old lover lands him in unknown danger.
33. The General (15-May-2011)
The General made a mistake when he spared the woman, and a worse mistake when he let her bear his child. This is the concluding part of the Bisaria Quartet.
34. The Darkness Before The Dawn (25-May-2011)
The Boy, alone in the streets of the town, gets into trouble. This is Part Five of the Werewolf Series.
35. Mother (27-Jun-2011)
Mother had been her jailer all her life. Why couldn't she break free?
36. The Gods Themselves (27-Jun-2011)
Set in the far distant future, when the world has grown cold, a woman dares to speculate on the nature of the mysterious circle of statues out on the distant plain.
37. The Living Dead (14-Jul-2011)
Death - unfortunately - may be far from the end. It may only be the beginning of the horror.
38. Descent Into The Dark (14-Jul-2011)
In a desperate attempt to halt the Change that the full moon brings upon them, the Woman and the Boy climb down into the bowels of the earth, and into a greater danger. This is Part 6 of the Werewolf Series.
39. The Only Good Zombie Is A Dead One (10-Aug-2011)
Written to please all die-hard zombie fans by packing in all the cliches of the genre into one compact package.
40. On The Care And Feeding of Zombies (10-Aug-2011)
Excerpts from the handbook on how to get the best out of your personal zombie security guard.
41. In The Killing Field (5-Sep-2011)
A former Khmer Rouge recollects a terrifying night in the killing fields of Cambodia.
42. In Hell (5-Sep-2011)
In the streets of Hell, where the Souls of the damned slave for the Demons, one lonely Soul gets a chance to escape.
43. In Hell: The Streets Of Hell (9-Oct-2011)
The demon Kratak is sent on a scouting expedition that leads him into lethal danger. This is part two of the Hell series.
44. The Zombie Song (11-Dec-2011)
Oh, I'm a zombie, can't you see! Zombies in verse.
45. Jingle Bells (11-Dec-2011)
Why was the boy terrified of Santa Claus? What dark fears lay in his mind?
46. The Rats In The Walls (11-Dec-2011)
This is 'hard' science fiction, meaning it requires some knowledge of physics to appreciate.
47. Rolling Thunder (22-Feb-2012)
An undercover agent infiltrates an Undead Biker Club. This story is not for George Romero-style zombie fans. You've been warned.
48. The Last Zombie On Earth (15-Mar-2012)
Something happens to the last zombie in the world that will change everything. Not for fans of the George Romero-style zombie genre.
49. House On The Hill (15-Mar-2012)
The two hikers hadn't bargained for what they found when they took shelter from the storm in the creepy old house on the hill.
50. The Dragon Chedupuram and the Knight Starkiller (15-Mar-2012)
SF/Fantasy crossover tale about the nature of reality. In form it's the old knight-versus-dragon trope, but with variations.
51. Hands (12-Apr-2012)
Years after the event, the old Japanese businessman still has difficulty going to sleep because of the memory of the grasping hands.
52. Monday with Medusaceratops (12-Apr-2012)
What happened the day a herd of horned dinosaurs mysteriously appeared in the town.
53. The Road to Nowhere (12-Apr-2012)
It was long ago and far away, but what you did will still visit you in dreams.
54. Night Of The Trolls (12-Apr-2012)
A man and a tyrannosaur, on a stormy night in an empty city - empty but for the trolls.
55. Beachhead (13-May-2012)
A marine invasion force assaults an alien planet inhabited by Insectoids. Written as a direct response to Robert Heinlein's 'Starship Troopers'.
56. Journey to the Centre of the Earth (13-May-2012)
A trio of brave explorers take the Professor's machine down towards the Earth's core. But they may not be alone down there.
57. Why the Zombocalypse Failed (13-May-2012)
This is a 'zombie' story without any zombies. If you want or expect stereotyped George Romero zombie stuff, don't read this.
58. The Dragon (17-Jul-2012)
They had unleashed the Dragon on the world. Now Johnson had to get it back under control - if he could. A story of the not too distant future.
59. Hunting Heads (1-Sep-2012)
The head-hunters had been successful in attack.Now if only they could get back home with their trophies...
60. Congregation (2-Oct-2012)
The young priest thought preaching to the robots was a good idea. It might not have been.
61. In The Land Of The Dead (2-Oct-2012)
This is not a zombie story. It isn't even a ghost story, not really. It's just a story of the dead.
62. Deepwinter (27-Feb-2013)
Bekur went into the winter to die. But the Cannibal Spirit was waiting.
63. In the Sunshine Mine (27-Feb-2013)
When sunshine is a commodity to be traded for profit, collecting a little for warming one's house is a crime.
64. Mermaid (27-Feb-2013)
Pedro caught a mermaid - and that was where his problems started. And the mermaid wasn't what one expects when one hears the word.
65. On the Result of the Inquiry into the Defeat at the Battle of Spatterloo (29-Mar-2013)
Why was the mighty battle fleet destroyed by the unspeakable !ulrq? The inquiry finds the answer.
66. Why Gahaziel Gave Up Saging (29-Mar-2013)
What happened when the ex-sage Gahaziel met a man with a knife, and fell down a hole to hell.
67. Jogodish and the Jombie (29-Mar-2013)
Nobody was prepared when the Zombie Apocalypse struck Bunglistan. But the Jombie Apocalypse threatened to be worse.
68. Consumer Protection (28-Apr-2013)
Zombie Kumaramangalam wasn't happy with the canned Gun Nut meat he'd bought...not at all.
69. The Shortest Horror Story Ever Written (7-Sep-2013)
It isn't a good idea to burn one's bridges.
70. The Manticore (7-Sep-2013)
For a very long time he had hunted the monster. Now he'd caught up with it, but there was a last surprise in store.
71. The Zombie Of George Romero (10-Oct-2013)
When George Romero returns from the dead, he's unpleasantly surprised by what he finds. But was it so undeserved?
72. Tarok and the Ghost (10-Oct-2013)
If you're a ghost looking to wring somebody's neck, you'd better look for the right victim. Otherwise, you might wish you'd never died.
73. Slave Master (13-Nov-2013)
When civilisation breaks down, money becomes worthless, and the gangs rule, drugs can buy you anything - even slaves.
74. Raising Kane (13-Nov-2013)
A wizard with a history of making a mess of things, a snarky demon familiar, and a new-raised ghost. What could go wrong?
75. The Summoning (27-Dec-2013)
The strange old book promised to summon demons - but, of course, demons don't exist, do they?
76. The Vigil (2-Feb-2014)
The Professor had been commissioned to spend the night in the haunted house. But the night was almost over, and nothing had happened yet.
77. Special Operation (25-Mar-2014)
There is a submarine in this story. There are NO guns, NO gore and NO Romero style zombies.
78. Badlands (5-Jun-2014)
A knight and a demon, on a mission to save a town from an unknown danger.
79. Zombiestan (5-Jun-2014)
The real reasons why you should be afraid of zombies.
80. Badlands II: God of Wrath (16-Jul-2014)
Revisiting an old love, the knight finds her missing. Only the demon can help find her - and, if possible, to rescue her from where she is.
81. The Monster Shop (16-Jul-2014)
Kay's parents had reluctantly agreed to buy him a monster for his birthday. It may have been a gift that kept on giving, and giving.
82. The Chronicles of Chheechkaduni (15-Aug-2014)
In the far distant future, when the seas have dried up and the rivers are gone, the renegade lord Onek Mangsho and his wives flee being turned into meat to feed the people.
83. Only the Dead (7-Oct-2014)
This is not a zombie story. There are no zombies in it of any kind. It's exactly what the genre says, a story of the living dead.
84. Woop Woop (7-Oct-2014)
The Faster than Imagination freighter Calamity Jane had never expected to meet a gigantic insect in deep space.
85. Badlands III: Boat on the River (3-Dec-2014)
Something strange is happening to the world and the knight and the demon must solve the problem if they are to survive.
86. Badlands IV: The Beginning (3-Jan-2015)
Where it all began - The demon, the knight and the beast meet each other for the first time.
87. Shadow Of The Night (8-Feb-2015)
The old mercenary had a tale to tell about something that happened in an African jungle, many years ago.
88. Badlands V: The Hatching (8-Feb-2015)
About a mountain slope on a winter night, a lost girl, a meeting with an entity, and how something was created, immortal and dangerous.
89. Mutant (8-Mar-2015)
Everyone in Spock City despised Moolora, because she was the ugliest mutant they had ever seen.
90. Retribution (10-May-2015)
Set late in the Second World War, a Soviet tank crew in a newly liberated village meet a woman who may not be all she seems.
91. Transplant (15-Jul-2015)
Monica wakes up in hospital with no memory of who she is. And when she finds out what's going on, she almost wishes she'd never woken up.
92. After The Zpocalypse (15-Jul-2015)
What happened after two criminals were trapped in a mall by zombies.
93. The Chronicles of Chheechkaduni (Continued) (30-Jul-2015)
Three new tales of danger as Onek Mangsho, Opodartho and Chheechkaduni make their way through the world of the far distant future.
94. Badlands VI, VII & VIII (7-Sep-2015)
Three new parts to the series.
95. The Trial (25-Oct-2015)
The commander of a quarantine camp has to face the consequences of his actions.
96. The Ocean Sky (17-Dec-2015)
He had made an attempt at setting a world record for a balloon ascent once. What had he found in the skies that had made him decide never to go up again?
97. City of the Dead (1-Feb-2016)
When Tauseef rescued a dead man from the drones, he did not know what was to come.
98. Let the Darkness Come (1-Feb-2016)
On the run, cornered and brought to bay at last, even in death, the old dictator still had one final victory.
99. A Small And Frightened Thing (20-Mar-2016)
A rendezvous in the twilight, when something small and fluttering and frightened changes hands - something more precious than all the treasures of the world.
100. The Temple In The Fog (8-May-2016)
In a clubhouse in Victorian London, a man recently returned from India tells a tale... and why he insists ghosts do not exist.
101. Prime Directive (17-Jun-2016)
Zwar Cleb and his ship were under the strictest orders to do no anyone.
102. Badlands IX: The Mountain God (31-Jul-2016)
An erupting volcano, a cult which lives on its slopes, and the knight, the beast and the demon must attempt a rescue mission.
103. Clash By Night (30-Oct-2016)
A city under siege, a starving populace, and a man driven beyond the point of desperation. Based on a dream of the author.
104. The War Is Over (7-Nov-2016)
Can a scientist working on the ultimate weapon, in a war that will be won anyway, be forgiven? Based on a dream of the author.
105. Never Jewels Enough (29-Jan-2017)
A human ambassador is offered a bribe to help a dying race get its progeny off its planet before it's too late.
106. Party (18-Jun-2017)
A zombie, a mummy, a werewolf, a vampire and several terrorists walk into a party.

Help keep this site online by donating and helping to cover its costs.

Genre:Living Dead
Type:Short story
Rating:5.75 / 10
Rated By:26 users
Comments: 2 users
Total Hits:13576

Follow Us
 Join us on Facebook to be notified of updates
 Follow us on Twitter to be notified of updates

Forum Discussion
 So which Night film is canon to George... »
 Evil Dead (TV series) »
 FEAR The Walking Dead - Season 4 discu... »
 Rate the last movie you've seen »
 Hey hi, selfish thread, sorry »
 Death of Death »
 Friday the 13th: The Game... (video ga... »
 Grrrr... Can't watch the final two TWD... »
 Ratings hit! »
 TWD 8x16 "Wrath" episode discussion...... »
 Criterion Release of Night »
 Living Dead Weekend Monroeville 2018 »
 TWD 8x15 "Worth" episode discussion...... »
 MZ's Movie Review Thread »
 Night of the Living Dead 1968 "Rescore" »
 Black Panther (film) »
 How Come There Is No........ »
 TWD 8x14 "Still Gotta Mean Something" ... »
 Walking Dead and Fear The Walking Dead... »
 Jim O'Rear »