Page 2

You know, I never did explain where I got this piece of paper from. I had to dig deep down in one of these boxes to find a notepad. I have paper but no diapers. I have broken phones but not enough food. Ain't life just funny ha? Life. This has become a joke too. Remember that game? Yes, it's a cycle. Born, live, marry, have children, they have children, and work, work, work in between all that, then you die or in this case you don't die haha. You come back to eat. Talk about the ultimate sin. Gluttony and sloth at its worst.

I think about all the other mothers out there that are harboring their children in a dark attic or cellar, praying to god those things would just keel over. Keel over. That should be erased from the English language if this is ever over. Looky there! I just had a daydream. I thought the damn marines had come hauling ass thru here in enough time to save us all. But alas...it was a daydream. My parents are gone. I think. See? You think but you just don't know. You hope but what's the use. You want to live but at the same time dying seems so much more appealing. I want my daughter to run and be free. Damnit. She deserves what we had and took for granted. She deserves to have her first year of school crying as I drop her off at the door. She deserves spring showers, may flowers, days at the beach, 4th of July, Christmas, proms, her own wedding with her own children being born. This is a cruel fate. The eldest of us can sit and remember what we should have done, what we had. But my child...or any child for that matter. They haven't begun to live....how can they die?

If you believe in god at all...which at this point for all the times I have cursed him I have begun to doubt, how can you not hate him for these things he has bestowed upon us? He said in the bible he loved us all. So to show his love we get eaten up by people who we formally knew....and some damn fine people at that. He said in the bible that he would forgive us for our sins if we repented. Damnit, I have repented!! I want my daughter to have the same as me and even more. WHYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????

I just threw something across the room. I am so angry all of the time....my mind fading in and out to happier times and then realizing what is going on. What's this? Could it be? We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.....please stand by. Oh my goodness....One month has come and gone and now I am getting something on the blank television. A news reporter....god do they still exist? I guess so because right before my eyes is one. No Peter Jennings....guess he got eaten haha. A bomb. A bomb. A bomb. In case you are wondering I am living in San Diego, California. My family....my parents and brother are on the east coast. The east coast got ate the fuck up from what I understand....literally, by bombs and by these thingamabobs....watchamacallits.....the candy bar.....AHHHHH candy bar. What I wouldn't give for a candy bar. A cigarette. A beer! Luxuries. Yes....luxuries. Just as a toliet, a shower, brushing your teeth...general hygiene have become. My daughter giggled. God help her....god help me. Cabin fever at its worst....but this isn't a cabin darling haha. It's an attic....a hole...a tomb of sorts. I must become more optimistic. Ah yes..the newscaster. You are wondering if my rambling will end. Well if I don't write this down then you won't get my story. Actually now that I read over this, this is just one account of what's going on. It makes you wonder what other stories will look like if we survive. If.

I am not into gore. Not the VP of course....the nasty things that are shown on television.....or were shown on TV. I could think of more pleasant ways to spend my time then looking at blood and guts. In a way this little window up here in this hole has become a tv of sorts. Think about it. Nothing else to look at besides each other so I peer thru that window days on end. I have seen what I think to be coming from the pits of hell...but alas...they are now outside.

I always thought we were like Barbie dolls to god. Here's the scenario. Skipper and Barbie out for a stroll. Ken strolls up, one leg half eaten, stomach open and says come here baby, give daddy some sugar, meaning one thing and one thing only......give me your body so I can eat if for no reason. It's not like we are a source of protein or anything. They are like the damn energizer bunny. They keep going, and going and going. You get the point. Skipper and Barbie jump in the corvette and drive off into the sunset...only to have their whole car jumped and have them eaten (it is a convertible you know).

[ Continue to page 3 ]