Appearance: 
  
 
Page:   
 Share It:
https://fiction.homepageofthedead.com/forum.pl?readfiction=971H

The Most Rediculous Horror Story Ever
(© Biswapriya Purkayastha)

Page 2

Something scrambled behind me, moving quickly and erratically. I spun round, the crossbow smoothly in my hands, but it was only a large rat, already diving for cover. I cursed my own jumpiness. Nerves. The crossbow still raised, I turned back around.

It stood there, hulking above me, its prick ears twitching, its yellowish eyes gleaming dully. The moonlight shone faintly on the huge yellow teeth. The muzzle twitched in a snarl. It looked as much like a wolf as a Tyrannosaur looked like a wall gecko. This wasn’t fair. I’d expected a vampire. This wasn’t fair at all.

I had never fought a werewolf before, but I knew what to do. Even before it could gather itself to spring, I’d dropped the crossbow and drawn the revolver with the special bullets. I splayed my legs in the approved combat stance, raised the revolver, eased back the hammer and pulled the trigger all in one smooth, well-practised motion. The gun boomed in my hand and the heavy silver bullet sped through the air and knocked the werewolf head over heels across the moonlit square, already convulsing in its final death-throes.

Correction. That is what ought to have happened. What happened was that the werewolf batted away the silver bullet and laughed. Have you ever heard a werewolf laugh? I don’t recommend the experience.

"You’re supposed to be dead!" I gasped, when the werewolf had finally stopped shaking with laughter. "That was a silver bullet!"

"Silver? That wasn’t silver," said the werewolf, laughing again. "That was silver alloyed with this and that, copper and tin and whatnot. You need a hundred percent silver, my girl. Even an impurity of point zero zero one percent won’t do." He looked at me, grinning, his huge carnassials gleaming yellowly. "You doubt me? Go ahead and shoot me again."

I did. I fired all the remaining five chambers, right into his chest. He watched with interest as the bullets bounced off in all directions. One came screaming back at me and almost parted my hair.

"Satisfied?" he mocked when my bullets were exhausted. "You can try that crossbow and stake as well, if you want. But even you ought to know that staking works for vampires, not werewolves. And I’m not going to shrivel away in a wisp of smoke if you use those grenades of yours, either."

"So," I said, dropping the gun, "tell me what can kill you, because I’m not leaving without your pelt to use as a fur coat." Nobody can say I can’t do bravado when I want to.

"Do you really think my pelt will do for a fur coat?" he asked, looking down at himself thoughtfully. "I might be a bit...clumpy." I was forced to agree. His fur grew in unlovely gingery-grey clumps separated by pinkish-purple bare skin. His neck was covered by a frizzled yellowish mane. He looked horrible. "Anyway," he said, "to answer your question, it’s impossible. You can’t kill me. Go ahead and try."

I tried. With the frenzy of utter desperation, I tried. I fired the crossbow at him, and my patented vampire-killing stake shattered uselessly on his chest. I threw my solar grenades at him; they sputtered down to a glow and died. Finally, I took my knife from my boot and went for him. He didn’t even dodge; the knife blade bent like a strip of tinfoil on his chest.

"Now," he said, when I stood before him, trembling and panting, "if you’ve quite finished throwing your tantrum, we have business to attend to." And he reached for me, his mouth open wide to bite off my head. "Garlic-flavoured too," he said. "My favourite."

"Wait!" I shouted. "Let’s talk this over a minute."

"Talk?" he said, surprised, his saliva drooling all over me, "what do you want to talk about?"

"I, uh..." I thought frantically what to say next. It’s not the best of positions for thought, when you’re dangling in a werewolf’s claws, your feet off the ground and your head about to be bitten off like a popsicle. "I, um," and inspiration struck, "always wanted to know what a werewolf’s life was like. I never actually met one before, you see."

"Obviously not," he sneered, "seeing how amateurishly you tried to kill me." He put me down. "I’ll tell you," he said, "but remember that I’ll still eat you afterwards. If you think you’re getting out of this, you’re mistaken."

[ Continue to page 3 ]

Donate
Help keep this site online by donating and helping to cover its costs.

Information
Genre:General Horror
Type:Short story
Rating:6.22 / 10
Rated By:36 users
Comments: 2 users
Total Hits:23260

Follow Us
 Join us on Facebook to be notified of updates
 Follow us on Twitter to be notified of updates

Forum Discussion
 the Walking Dead Empires. PC/MAC MMO S... »
 "In A Violent Nature" - trailer... »
 Helldivers 2 (video game) »
 Alien: Romulus (trailer)... »
 Could James Rhodes aka War Machine hav... »
 Could James Remar have portrayed Rhode... »
 Reacher (Amazon series) »
 SRS Cinema (Merged Threads) »
 Rate the last movie you've seen »
 Fallout (Amazon Prime series) - Based ... »
 TWD: "The Ones Who Live" (Rick/Michonn... »
 TWD: Dead City teaser... »
 Had Rhodes and the boys been inside th... »
 Shogun (TV series) »
 MZ's Movie Review Thread »
 Dune: Part 2 (film) »
 For those who have visited the Monroev... »
 Masters of the Air (Apple TV+ series)... »
 Boy Kills World (film) trailer... »
 Dawn Of The Dead (1978) - On-Set Home ... »