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Announcer: Uh, yes, well… Can you tell us anything else?

Roman: Yeah: We didn't lose a single man that time. Not one. We were keepin' our fingers crossed, hopin' them stiffs wouldn't dial nine, one, one!

(Laughter.)

Announcer: And what happened Monday?

Roman: Well, you know how it goes: Mondays is Mondays… (laughs)

Announcer: We got a call from a listener who claimed a group of soldiers had accidentally shot a busload of teenagers on their way to a high school basketball game. The bus overturned on the highway and the students were climbing out when a National Guard unit apparently mistook them for dead and opened fire on them. Can you confirm that rumor?

Roman (laughing): It weren't me!

Announcer: But you heard about it…?

Roman: Nope.

Announcer: So what did you and your men do Monday?

Roman: Monday, we got us a early start 'cause these stiffs, they don't sleep, see, and they're already layin' siege to this factory- had the workers barricadin' themselves in and tryin' like hell to keep 'em out, and we go in and there musta been a thousand of these things out there, beatin' on the walls, tryin' to get in. We hadda call for some back-up, 'cause, like I say, there musta been a thousand of them fuckers out there, and there we were, just the fifty of us, and we're blastin' right and left and these things just keep comin' and all of a sudden one of our guys goes down and these things're pullin' at his clothes and then his hair and his skin and, and he's screamin' and then he starts to come apart…

Announcer: Jesus Christ…

Roman: Yeah, yeah… I mean, they stood on him and a couple of 'em grabbed each one of his arms and they just pulled him apart- just like that! Goddamn, sorry sons of bitches! Then they got our medic- just jumped on him and dragged him down and started eatin' his ass alive! Somebody shot him in the head, just to spare him, you know…

Announcer: God…

Roman: That's when it got really bad. These things, they start turnin' on us and we're tryin' to pull back and keep 'em off us at the same time, and they're everywhere, I mean everywhere- all around us, and it's startin' to look like Custer's last stand all over again. I mean, my guys were goin' down all around me, and these fuckin' stiffs, they're rippin' 'em to pieces and I'm tryin' to get us outta there but we're surrounded, now, and these things're all over us…

Announcer: We're going to pause for a message from the Emergency Broadcast System. We'll be back with Captain Roman in just a minute.

Recording: This is a message from the Emergency Broadcast System. A state of emergency has been declared for your vicinity. Please do not leave your home at this time. There is a curfew in effect until further notice. Water and electricity will be provided for as long as possible until this emergency situation is over. Repeat: Do not leave your home at this time. Stay tuned to your tv and radio for further developments.

Announcer: We're back, and we're speaking with Captain Roman of the State National Guard. You were telling us about your unit's efforts to save a group of factory workers…

Roman: Yeah, right. Anyway, we were bein' overrun and we radioed for back-up and the next thing we know, we're takin' fire. Turns out there's a buncha citizens out there with guns and they're tryin' to save their friends and relatives in the factory and they're hittin' us in the fuckin' process- so we just return their fuckin' fire. A bunch of 'em go down, and then they back off, which gives us room to fall back and regroup and we start pickin' off these stiffs, 'cause they're comin' at us real slow, like sleepwalkers or somethin', and we just start cappin' their dead asses, one by one. We killed most of 'em. The ones was left just turned around and startin' walkin' away. It's like they knew what we was gonna do to 'em. Anyway, that's when we found out we'd lost ten more guys. Ten fuckin' men! And there musta been a hundred of them stiffs layin' there. We're standin' there lookin' at all them bodies and then we hear this rumblin' and I'm thinkin', "Oh, shit, what now?" and we look around and here come these fuckin' tanks and they got flamethrowers and shit and we were cheerin' 'em and shit… but it was too late to help our guys. They were history…

Announcer: I'm sorry…

Roman: Yeah, me, too. We lost a lotta good men that day.

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