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It did not take long for the entire world to go to hell. By my reckoning it was almost six months. The problem was every country thought it could not happen to them, what started in America and then spread around the rest of the globe was a plague. When the first reports came in about the dead rising in America no one took it seriously, they first thought it was an Orson Wells type prank, you know the one he pulled about the Martians landing. So all we did was sit back and watch and close our borders and our minds to the problems facing America. Within a month of the first report from America, England had its first zombie.

Our first zombie was a drunk if I remember rightly; he had fallen asleep after drinking a bottle of vodka and never woken up. He was taken to the hospital for a post mortem and while the doctor was cutting his chest open, the drunk opened his eyes and immediately bit a chunk out of the doctors’ arm. Of course you would have thought that we would have known how to deal with the problem, two bullets and it would have been over, but was it that simple? No. The drunk got up and walked out of the morgue and attacked everyone on his way. By the time the police got there, there were at least a dozen people bitten and one very dead doctor in the morgue. You see the bite had torn the veins in his arm and he had bled to death. So the police, just doing their job, decided to make the area a crime scene, instead of putting a bullet in the doctors head and into every other body in the morgue, they taped it off and had an officer stand outside the door. The survivors were being treated for their wounds. So then, have you guessed what happens next, the forensic officers all died, as did the police officer standing guard along with every one else in the hospital. One of the forensic officers heard a noise from one of the drawers and opened it; a zombie bit his throat out. Like I said, we thought it could never happen here. By the time the authorities had realized what had happened it was too late. It took them almost twenty-four hours to come to the conclusion that the zombies had arrived.

Personally in my opinion all of our leaders are fucking idiots. Even after it started in America they covered it up, it was only when it was too late that they declared a state of emergency. I heard every single rumor about the cause of the plague. The probe that returned from space had some funky space virus on it; another was that it had brought back radiation from space, which caused the dead to rise. Then there was a top-secret chemical weapon that had been leaked, either accidentally or deliberately, if it was that then the American government would not want the world to know. I mean think about it; this was the perfect biological weapon, drop it on your enemies, the dead rise, they kill everyone, no more enemies. Then there was the god squad who went about preaching the end of the world, that this was the apocalypse, judgement day. Bunch of fucking nut jobs is what I say to that. The only one I never heard was something I came up with one day, I hadn’t slept for three days, it’s amazing what sleep deprivation can do for you, it beats drugs. This was the planet, you know Mother Nature getting back at us for fucking it up. Look at it, what had man done in his time as the dominant species on the planet. Fuck all. You may argue that there is the fantastic architecture, the music from the likes of Beethoven, Mozart and Elvis. Ok, that was all great but had it helped the planet. NO. All man had done to the planet was to design ways to fuck it right up. There was pollution, all these chemicals that fucked the ozone layer etc but the number one public enemy to the planet was the always popular nuclear weapons and power plants. Can you think of a better way to fuck the world we were given? So I reckon that it was the earth that raised the dead to teach us the error of our ways. Man was no longer the dominant species on the planet, the dead were.

Thinking about it, that could be a plausible theory. The planet raises the dead to take vengeance on man. If you think about the ancient civilizations that just ceased to exist. There was the Aztecs, the Incas and the Topecs. All of them just vanished, no known reason. So if you think about it that then it could be true. As for the reason why, well I have no idea whatsoever. I do not know anything about them so what they did to piss off the planet I guess died with them. If I could think of a way I would also say that zombies were responsible for the Mary Celeste. How the dead got onto a ship I don’t know but what the hell it sounds good. In all of the cases I have mentioned it was one civilization, there was a specific target, now it seems the location is worldwide and the target is the total extermination of man.

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