The Masochist (© Daniel Lee)
Page 1 Session 1: Thesis It all started with a kiss; one simple,
excruciatingly painful kiss. She had thought it sweet, my Debbie, to see the
tears that were welling in my eyes at such an innocent gesture as a kiss. She
had no idea how it had made my lips burn, was clueless to the aching pains
inside as her tongue writhed within my mouth. She was driven by some strange
emotion; some need to continue with her kisses. Every whimper, every moan I
made in pain drove her frenzy on, gave her strength to continue in her assault.
She refused to stop and I was too racked in pain to do anything. Her lips strayed from mine and to my neck, then
to my chest, then further down with every errant tear. I think it thrilled her
now that I can look back on it all. So much, in fact that as I lay gasping for
breath in all my pain that she removed her clothes and mine and mounted me.
She was slow in her violence at first but grew faster in every twinge I made.
She would grind slowly for a minute, rock backwards then and increase her
pace. She smiled then gasped then smiled again as she forced her pelvis
downward onto mine. Finally, in one short lived act of aggression, her body
clenched around me and strangled me where I lay. It must have hurt her as
well, because she screamed loudly before collapsing forward onto my chest. She
took in a deep, shuddering breath as her body made one last contraction. I could feel the blood surging to my brain, felt
light headed as though I might black out. It was only afterwards, looking up at her
dressing as I quivered helpless in the floor that I saw it. On my sweet
Debbie's angel face, flushed and pink with the sweat rolling down her round
cheeks I saw that smile. In one curl of her burning red lips I saw that
expression of self gratitude like that of a huntress lion after killing its
prey. She rarely spoke to me after that night, nor did we pass each other much
in day to day walks but whenever we saw one another that predatory smile would
return. I would see that glint in her eyes, that knifing pink tongue as it
would lick her lips and I knew that I had been her first hunt, her first
successful conquest. Some years later, when I began my experiments on
the depth and nature of human feeling, she again was my first.
Session 2: Observation The human body is by far the most marvelous form
in all God's creation. The intricate systems and tracts and various designs
that keep trillions upon trillions of atoms cohered as one being are the most
complex and fascinating of all nature's forms. The human body is a thing of
beauty and wonder to be explored and revered. As a child I knew this and
became a good friend with every anatomy and biology text I could find. As I
grew I came to Gray's Anatomy as my bible. Any and every chance I had to
compare his sketches with the actual living form was more than a treat but a
religious experience to me. I treated every subject on my table with a solemn
spirituality; they were my temples of flesh and nerve and I was the pilgrim
there to pray. I stared in awe at those naked, wonderful forms and marveled
that inside we are all so complex and well crafted. It was observation. You see, observation is the key to science. You
stimulate a subject and then observe and record the reactions. But for these
reactions to be accurate you must observe the subject in its natural
environment. This said, I first observed my subject in the sports section of
the local newspaper. William Bryant Malloy was a senior at the high school I had
attended and captain of both the track and basketball teams. A grade
"A" student, his favorite activity was jumping hurtles. It was all
listed in great detail beneath the poorly developed picture of the
six-and-a-half foot tall athlete as he made the game winning shot from half
court. He had jumped up at the center court, so the paper read, and sank the
basket in the final seconds of an intramural scrimmage. Oh the thrills I had as I read all this. The
boy was a perfect candidate for my study, an invaluable research specimen
delivered over to me like manna from heaven. My heart pounded, my pulse raced,
I felt faint. I had to have him! I needed to collect all the data, that
precious information that only such a perfect specimen could give me. It was
then that my plan took form. [ Continue to page 2 ] |